How to Be A Harem Protagonist

Gather around children. Do you want to learn how to become a harem protagonist?

Want to become the envy of side characters everywhere? Well, with my semi-professional tips, you could maybe live your dream.

Let’s start the Harem Protagonist guide without wasting any more of your time.

1. Work on Your Personality

Work on Your Personality How to Be A Harem Protagonist

This right here is the most important key to being a Harem Protagonist. You absolutely have to work on your personality and be as bland as you can be.

I know most of you fancy yourselves as the next Koyomi Araragi or Arata Kasuga, but it’s just not possible for two reasons.

You are not a vampire (Araragi) or a demon lord (Kasuga). And no, chuunibyou syndrome does not grant these things.

2. Get a New Style.

Get a New Style

This is the easiest step to being a harem protagonist! Keep that baby face, avoid clothes with logos, have a pointless belt or scarf, and get a bland haircut. See, easy!

3. Become the Worst at the Thing You Do.

Become the Worst at the Thing You Do

You need a reputation of being a total failure…which might not be hard for most of you to be a Harem Protagonist. Get terrible grades, but not the point of flunking out.

Score the worst at magic ability. Be horrible at video games. It doesn’t matter, as long as you are last.

4. But, Learn Some Super Secret Talent.

Secret Talent

This is the sexy hook that will make up for your cardboard personality and terribleness in life. The talent has to be so obscure, that no one in the world has it.

Maybe you give perfect haircuts with your eyes closed? You can talk to squirrels? t doesn’t matter, as long as you are the best at it.

5. Do This to a Random Princess.

Do This to a Random Princess.

Actually, don’t do this. You might get beaten down or charged with sexual assault. Only do this to your pillow or to a consenting individual.

6. Blush at Every Bit of Contact.

Blush anime boy

You have to be pure and innocent, or at least look like it.

7. Get an Extremely Handsome and Perverted Wingman.

Extremely Handsome

Your wingman should come with sparkles and be better looking than you with an actual personality. Their perviness could be a hidden thing or could be out in the open. It doesn’t matter, because they are handsome (but alone).

8. Beat the Hell out of Someone “Accidently.”

Beat the Hell out of Someone “Accidently.”

Even Raku Ichijo won a fight. Make sure it’s a big deal, with the entire school or town watching. Pro-tip: Get your ass handed to you for the majority of the fight and win at the last second. Everyone loves comebacks.

9. Shake Down the Family Tree.

Family Tree.

Sadly, it’s part of the job description. At a minimum, you’ll have a cousin thirsting for you. At most, well…let’s not think about that.

10. Accidentally Walk in at the Worst Times.

Accidentally Walk in at the Worst Times.


11. Have People Ask You For Help.

Have People Ask You For Help

Your harem members will ask you to help them with the little things. Going on dates, saving the world, buying shoes…it’s can be a bit much at times, but how else will we be able to fill the episode count?



To keep the status quo, you must never advance past lewd hand-holding or worried hugging. At no point shall you pick a “winner” either. In the end, your relationship with your harem will be little more than that of an observer.

13. Be Dense.

Be Dense.

In the end, being a harem protag won’t matter because you would be too dense to realize what it’s going on.

The worst part? Years will progress and you’ll find yourself sitting at a bar. As you down your second or fourth scotch, a revelation will occur. One of your harem members was a trap, and you let them get away…sh, no tears friend, no tears.

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About the Author

Garima Singh

Moshi Moshi everyone! I'm Garima, an anime enthusiast with a passion for sharing my love of anime with others. I've watched over 1000 anime, and I'm always on the lookout for new and exciting shows to watch.

I love everything about anime, from the stories and characters to the animation and music. I'm also a big fan of anime culture, and I love to learn about Japanese culture and history through anime.

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